First mother's day.

Had a good time yesterday for my first mother’s day. Of course, ian doesn’t understand mother’s day yet, but he is healthy and happy - my best gift for the first mother’s day. and thank god for giving me a customized-made son. the best.

Don took us to blockbuster to rent a movie, the joneses, and boston pizza to get chicken wings and a pasta. delicious. (thank you dear) we had to stop several times during the movie to check ian when he wanted our attention. But most of the time, he sat in his papasan and watched the movie with us.

Sometimes, I feel frustrated or dissatisfied with my ‘new’ life, especially when I can’t do what I used to do or I don’t feel what I used to feel - not able to colour my hair, having dry hair, losing some hair(?) recently, caring extra weight, not able to drink coffee, tea, wine, beer, …, not able to take medication, worried about seeing a dentist, not able to find a good time to write/ or write in a library…, not able to wear my favourite tops…, not able to spend 'private' time with don... I know I should be grateful because i have the most important people around me, don and ian. (Of course, i still miss my mami and daddy…) I know I will get what I ‘can’t do’ back when ian grows up, and I somehow look forward to the day, but I know I will miss ian’s tiny hands, feet, and cute face during breastfeeding/ burping badly from that day on.

Life is full of contradictions!